Every week James Soapbox will discuss something unimportant, that he's whining about because he has his own site and he can. I mean I can.

This weeks topic: Why aren't there more predators in animal crackers?

Ask any red blooded American what their favorite snack is. (go ahead) They will all answer the same, Nabisco animal crackers. If they don't they should be reported to the border patrol.

But one thing disturbes me about Americas favorite snack as of late. The complete lack of predatory animals. It used to be you had the gorilla, the tiger, the bear, and many others. But now look at a box of animal crackers, what do you see? A kangaroo? A sheep? Or even the biggest insult, the sloth. And the only predator they seem to have is the stylish cheeta.

Not that I like animals being killed, I am a vegetarian, but this is going to far. If there are no animal crackers who are predators then the other animals will become overpopulated, and fill the factories that make the crackers. Soon the animals won't be content to hang around at the factories, and will go out into the real world eating every plant in sight. Then we won't have any oxygen. These crackers will bring forth revelations!

And further more these crackers have become unamerican.